


The Thirteen of Kettles

by combinotorious



Category: Original Work
Genre: Fantasy, Gambling, Gen, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-18
Updated: 2019-12-18
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:27:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21852184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/combinotorious/pseuds/combinotorious
Summary: After an evening of bilking the patrons of a small town's tavern of their hard-earned coin, a gambler and cheat finds himself in a very familiar situation.





	The Thirteen of Kettles

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work in progress that I intend to turn into a much longer story, but there are aspects of the core story that I feel I don't know how to handle with the finesse they deserve. Not because they are particularly sensitive subjects, but because if handled poorly they make for bad stories at best and vehicles for grotesque parodies of the themes they're meant to portray at worst.

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, it looks like I win again." The words felt so natural coming out of the mouth of such a terminally smug bastard. It was so casual, delivered with the mild resignation of someone who'd just been mildly inconvenienced. Even as the words slipped past his lips, however, his left hand was sweeping clean his belongings as his right snaked ever-closer to the pot. "It's truly been a pleasure to play with you all on this evening, but I really must be going, so if you'd just--"

The _thunk_ of a meat cleaver embedding itself an inch into the weathered wood of a tavern's gambling table is far different from the _thunk_ of a dagger being driven to its hilt through the wall next to one's ear. Dandston Larro had developed something of an ear for their intricate subtleties over the years, and was confident in his ability to discern between the two if blindfolded for reasons that he would prefer not to get into. For all of his expertise, however, hearing both sounds simultaneously was still an enlightening experience. Gathering his wits for a beat, the man swallowed hard and slowly withdrew his hand from the table, still attached to his forearm by little more than a reflexive retreat into his sleeve at the last possible moment. 

Massaging his wrist, Dandston looked up at the imposing figures rising to their feet with weapons drawn around him. The butcher, whose towering frame was only her third-most intimidating trait, cleared her throat. "Ain't paying no cheat." The _un-thunk_ of the cleaver being withdrawn from the table was, admittedly, less threatening than its predecessor, but Dandston found himself far more comfortable with blades when they rested firmly in things which were categorically not Dandston.

Face still frozen in its shit-eating grin, Dandston regained his composure, his now-idle hands weaving placations through the air. "Now, now, I can see you're upset, so as a gift to you all for being such good sports I'll let you keep your money. But to levy such serious accusations, calling me a--" 

"Ain't no such thing as the Thirteen of Kettles." One voice from the crowd bellowed. 

The sweat running down Dandston's back was rapidly saturating his blouse. "The suit of Kettles works in mysterious ways. Or so I've been told in my tra--" 

"An' what's that bullshit about all pawns being able to move at the same time if you only have one bishop and it's a Sunday?" 

"Ah, yes. _En Massant_. It's really quite a common rule, I don't know how you've never encountered it before now." 

The butcher looked closer to Dandston, her prodigious silhouette backlit by the tavern's torchlight. "Can't have a royal flush with two queens and no king!" 

"Hey, now! I'll have you know that Bervala gets on just fine with its two queens."

"They ain't even the same suit!" 

"An interracial couple, then! Truly a beautiful thing, and a beacon of lasting unity between their respective kingdoms! And who among us could come between such a wonderful cou--" 

"Shut up, Larro, before I feed you your tongue." 

"A compelling argument. I'll just take my money and--" 

When Dandston awoke some eighteen hours later, he was penniless, sore, and covered in garbage.

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this story and would like to read more, please let me know. If you hated the story and want me to suggest something written by a better author so you can forget what I've inflicted upon this world, also let me know.


End file.
